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Posts Tagged ‘Fear’


 

Through May and June we will discuss on the Wake Up Your Life Blog things that you can get rid of in your life. If you give up on them, it will make your life easier and happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering. Instead of letting them go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy we cling to them. Let’s work to give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Be sure to read the entire series. There will be 15 in total. 


10. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. Sven Goran Eriksson said—The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.

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Using your Gifts and Talents

By Trish Ostroski

December’s Theme for the Wake up Your Life Blog will be using your gifts and talents.

Everyone is endowed with a unique talent. It is in the use of these talents that can lead you to your ultimate mission in life, to be happy. Having a talent is one thing, discovering it is another and using it still another.
 
 Many people are not maximizing their talents or are not using them at all. There are many reasons for this. It could be that they didn’t know they had such a talent to begin with. Yet another reason could be that there is no room for that talent in their current life.  But one reason that concludes why most people don’t tap into their potential is because of fear.

Many people are afraid to use their talents because they fear that they will be rejected. They might think they’ll lose what they have now if they use their talents. Some are just afraid of the possibilities that could be unlocked when by using their talents.
 
This uncertainty shouldn’t be feared— it should be explored. Talents were given to you to lead you to your true goal. You might be blinded by what you are doing now, where you are, and what you have become. You can only imagine what wonderful opportunities are waiting out there for you if you choose to learn to use your talents.

Stay Tuned for More!

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Start Your Day with Positive Talk to Yourself

By Trish Ostroski

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” This little rhyme was one we probably all heard many times as a child when someone was taunting or teasing or calling names. We were striving to keep ourselves safe from the words of another. Even though we had the rhyme the truth is, their words did hurt. We could pretend otherwise, but inside it often hurt that someone would say anything meant to intentionally hurt me. We could brush it off and at the same time wonder if it might be true or be the perception of others as well.

However, the words of others are nothing compared to the meanness and hurt of some of the words and expressions we say to ourselves. You may not always or ever say these words out loud, but the inside of one’s head may not be a safe neighborhood to hang out, for positive reinforcement. Many refer to themselves as their own worst critic, but never as their own best friend. How to change that around?

Many psychologists discuss the concept of the inner critic. It may be referred to by many different names. A majority agree that it often can be directly linked to how our parents talked to us when we were growing up. Throughout our childhood experiences of interacting with our parents and primary care givers, including our teachers, we imitate the parenting we received inside our own heads. Thus we are continuing the practice of praising, disciplining, questioning etc. One of the ways that shows up is as that critical inner voice. It’s also possible to have a nurturing, supportive voice.  Yet often, this softer, gentler voice for most people is drowned out by the louder, critical one.

In addition to self-criticism, notice if there are times when it seems everything going through your head is negative. No one is doing anything right, things are going wrong, and the world can be a dark and scary place.

When your inner self-talk goes down the fear spiral one’s mind can really takeover. The ‘what if’s’ and those should ofs and could ofs can completely take over your mind and thoughts. Your inner neighborhood becomes a dark storm filled with disastrous possibilities that show up as loss, scarcity and catastrophe. That is not a good place to be.

The good news is we can actually change our inner self-talk. Plus we can change what comes out of our mouths. We can catch the inner critic before it starts beating us up and we can shift and alter our words to nurturing, supportive direction. We can give worlds like a coach would give. This can lead to more positive outcomes in our lives. Being conscious, deliberate and intentional about what we say and what we think takes raising awareness, making a choice and acting differently. Those are all good outcomes.

Raising awareness starts with becoming an observer of yourself, noticing what you’re saying to yourself, how you’re interpreting situations. Check on what is actually coming out of your mouth, especially at those moments when no one is there to witness it.

Once you have recognized a negative or disempowering pattern, you can feel confident that you can make a different choice. But what choice should that be? After all, what you considered to be your best thinking got you here.

It might be really helpful in the beginning to get input from an objective friend or advisor since we can’t always be objective about ourselves.  If you take situations personally, it feels negative, discouraging and disempowering.

Acting differently, of course means we don’t just raise our awareness and do nothing about that. It means we follow through and declare our new interpretations out loud. It’s a way of establishing a new pattern. It is refreshing.

Be proactive vs. reactive. Don’t wait for the moments when your thoughts are negative and self-critical.  it may be much harder to direct yourself to a positive direction. However, by deliberately choosing to be gentle and supportive of yourself as a matter of course, you can and will create a positive platform to build and grow.

How to do this?

Develop a daily practice of saying positive, uplifting and empowering statements once you wake up in the morning. Statements like these are commonly called “Affirmations” because they are validating a positive truth we wish to emphasize and expand.

 The most gratifying result can be a reduction in fear, depression and procrastination.  In spite of the constant influx of negative input so prevalent lately in the news and in conversations by doing this on a daily basis you have started a new, more positive pattern of thinking that leads to raised self-esteem and more positive outcomes.

Also consider journaling as a means of working with your thoughts. Seeing things on paper can be a good means of changing your thoughts to the positive.

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FROM THE WAKE UP YOUR LIFE SERIES

BY TRISH OSTROSKI

How Does PERCEPTION play into Fear?

Let’s first of all note that the perceptual process has three stages.

You are firstly exposed to the information.  Exposure is just a matter of coming within range of the stimulus.

Secondly is attention. It occurs when a stimulus activates one or more of our human senses.

 
The third stage of perception is interpretation. It is the process of adding meaning to the stimulus through your thinking or feelings. The thinking often analyses the stimulus against past experiences.
 
Let’s say a child is afraid of dogs. First of all the child notes the dog. They may then remember a dog barked at them and this scared them. The child may have encountered an unfriendly dog or the dog was actually extending a friendly bark, however the sound or being unfamialiar with that dog or dogs in general may have brought up a senses of fear. Then in subsequent encounters with dogs the child brings in their thinking or feelings fromt he past even though they could actually love this particular dog and find them playful and a playmate.
 
Translating this to other fears–as an adult –for example public speaking–and many others the interpretative stage is key. For example, if you are feeling unhappy or other “negative” emotions when interpreting the situation with your feelings, you are more likely to experience negative actions such as poor confidence.
 
 It is the interpretation stage of the perceptual process which is the major focus in overcoming fear and building confidence. Once you have developed a basic understanding of the perceptual process you are more able to build unstoppable confidence by learning specific skills.
You Can Control Your Reactions To Fear
 
Here are some ideas
 

1. Move Your Body–or as they say–‘shake that booty’

Sustained physical activity like exercise increases blood flow, improves alertness and mental acuity, and reduces muscle tension. It increases serotonin levels (did you know low serotonin levels have been linked to depression). It also tends to bring one’s focus to the present, away from any anxiety-producing thoughts about the past or future. In addition,  regular exercise improves self-esteem by giving you a feeling of progress, growth, and being in control.

2.  Examine the Evidence–Experiment–A Little Detective Work

How many times have you felt afraid to do something, and when you eventually did it, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad or as scary as you imagined?

Anxiety and fear are often the result of unrealistic or exaggerated scenarios that we play over and over in our heads.  The only way to find that out is to test them.

For example, if you’re anxious about talking to new people because you imagine they’ll be rude to you, or ignore you test it out. Go to a store perhaps a book or music store. Introduce yourself to one of the other customers, and with a smile ask them how they an author, a book they are reading, a certain song, singer or whatever fits.  There is no need to  push the conversation longer than feels comfortable, but pay attention to how friendly or unfriendly the person is, and compare that to your fear.

On the other hand, if you have anxiety about flying, getting on a plane to test out your fear might be too big a step for you. In that case, find someone who flies frequently for business and ask them about their experience. Are they afraid? Do they have any concerns? Why not? Hypnosis has been noted as a great tool in overcoming fear of flying as well as numerous other fears.

Suggestion: If your anxiety or fear centers around a thought like, “If I do A, then B will happen,” test it out. Bring a good friend with you so that they can support and encourage you.

3. An Attitude of Gratitude

Did you know that Gratitude is the antidote to fear. In fact, it is impossible to experience both fear and deep gratitude at the same time. But if that’s true, why don’t people just focus on everything they’re grateful for whenever that get afraid or anxious? Good question! Because of something called mood-dependent memory.

Mood-dependent memory means, basically, that the mood you’re in influences what memories you have access to. Think about it. So when you’re sad for example, you tend to only remember other sad times.  That’s why when you’re afraid or anxious, it’s so difficult to remember or concentrate on things  you are  grateful for.

For this reason, it’s especially important to practice gratitude when you’re in a good mood. If you make gratitude a habit then, it will be there when you need it most.

Suggestion: Write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day. They can be big (an important person)  or small (the delicious chocolate you just ate). Keep this list with you and review it when you’re feeling anxious or afraid or even a bit down.

Hypnosis and the hypnotherapy process have been a key factor for thousands of people overcoming their fears, becoming more confident and leading to a higher quality and happier life.

NEXT BLOG IN THE WAKE UP YOUR LIFE SERIES—Steps to Greater Confidence

Hypnosis is highly effective in overcoming and handling fears. I have worked with clients to overcome fear of elevators, closed spaces, fear of success and more.

The hypnotic process is an excellent tool to re-tune your life and take control once again. Free consultation.

Trish Ostroski is a Certified Hypnotherapist and works with clients near and far on the phone and in person. She has helped many clients to overcome stress to live healthier and happier lives. Contact Trish and reduce your stress now.

www.hypnosis.edu/hypnotherapists/trish-ostroski

www.rainbowhypno.com         818-795-8829

trishostroski@sbcglobal.net

 

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BY TRISH OSTROSKI

Breakthroughs rarely occur when we are stressed. The increased possibility of breakthroughs  happening is  when we finally let go. It is when we  stop the struggle.

What is at the heart of struggle? That poses a good question.  Resistance is at the heart of struggle. Although what we are resisting feels like it is “out there” actually the resistance is really inside.   It is inside  of us. Basically, if you are resisting anything you are really resisting yourself.

When we resist things we increase the struggles in our
life.  In turn this  increases how much scarcity we experience.

When we resist, we make things harder than they have to be. By
making things difficult we create struggle. This ultimately  prolongs getting where you want to go.

We complicate things.   We are afraid to decide. It may be fear of the unknown. It can be fear of making a mistake.  Some fear they  may make a “wrong” decision. There is also fear that we might be  permanently  locked into the results and consequences of our choices.

Let’s take a fresh look. What if there were  no “wrong”
choices. There are only choices. Even if we don’t always make the best choice, we may be guided to what we need to learn.  We may gain some vital experience.

Top  athletes understand this concept. They know they can only
anticipate so much.  They know they will have  to make constant and often split decisions as things arise.

So who wouldn’t want to stop struggling? Actually more people than you can imagine.  Sometimes there is a familiar feeling about the struggle that is almost inviting. It becomes a sort of friend.

When you give up struggle it involves letting go of  the past
and also the future to activate what is needed right now. That may seem like a tall order

It is not your hard work that creates the results. More comes from your ability to give up struggling and forcing things to happen.

 Release your  strong grip on resistance. Step back.  Take more and more conscious actions. 

What is the lack of resistance?

 Flow. Flow is effortless. The magic in life is believing in possibilities. Part of life is learning to get  out of your own way.

Imagery and hypnosis allow you to get out of your own way.

I can help you get out of your way and Break Through to the Other Side.

Trish Ostroski is a Certified Hypnotherapist and works with clients near and far on the phone and in person. She has helped many clients to overcome stress to live healthier and happier lives. Contact Trish and reduce your stress now.

www.hypnosis.edu/hypnotherapists/trish-ostroski

www.rainbowhypno.com         818-795-8829

trishostroski@sbcglobal.net

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Fear–Yikes!


By Trish Ostroski

Franklin Delano Roosevelt told us “that we have nothing to fear by fear itself”. Fears can paralyze our lives and prevent us from realizing our many dreams.

Fear can be overcome. Sometimes it is simply recognizing that perhaps the fear comes from an unpleasant experience even from our childhood. As adults we realize there are not boogey men under the bed. But in some ways we have our own boogey men.

Perhaps it is a fear of public speaking, confronting others, driving a car, applying for a job or seeking a new career. Perhaps the fear is due to lack of confidence or it is actually a fear of the unknown.

Have you ever fretted over something and then when it came to pass or you took action on it surprise!!!–it was all in your mind. You made too much about it.

The hypnotic process can be a valuable tool to overcome fears and place you in a more confident state. You have nothing to fear about it.

Trish Ostroski is a certified hypnotherapist.

www.hypnosis.edu/hypnotherapists/trish-ostroski

www.rainbowhypno.com         818-795-8829

trishostroski@sbcglobal.net

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